


I'm the new cancer never looked better

by Loor



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Blogging, Cancer, F/M, Online Romance, Sick OFC, different POVs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-25 01:06:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2602886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loor/pseuds/Loor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the blogger that Brendon Urie follows online shows up at one of the band's shows, things take an interesting turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm the new cancer never looked better

**Author's Note:**

> Transferred from Mibba. Four years old. I'd like to think I improved a lot in my writing since then, but I'm still proud of this. So definitely sharing it on here. Comments are welcomed!

**Lauren.**  
“Hey Lauren, can you come over here for a minute?”

I looked up from the book I was reading to see my mother stand in the door way to the kitchen.

“Sure,” I replied as I lazily got up from the couch I had been laying on all afternoon. As I made my way into the kitchen I saw that my mom had taken a seat. I followed her example and sat down across her. I tried to catch some emotion to see what was going on, but her face was unreadable.

I opened my mouth to ask what was going on, but before I could say anything she raised her arm to silence me. “I’m going to tell you something and you may not like part of it. But can you promise to let me finish before you start yelling at me?” Mom asked with a pleading look.

“Okay…” I slowly responded, not liking the way this conversation started.

“Okay, good.” She said and paused. She seemed to be looking for the right words for a moment. “I guess there is no right way to tell you this, so I’ll just spill it. When you were out to buy those CDs last week, I went through some stuff on your laptop and I came across emails you sent to this Victoria girl.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but remembered what she told me and closed it again, but not without letting out an angry growl. My reaction caused my mom to smile a little before she went on.  
“I know, I know, I shouldn’t have done it, but I had a good reason… Look sweetie, you have been through a lot lately. The past six months were hard on all of us, but definitely the hardest for you. So now that you are finally doing better, your father and I wanted to surprise you. So we arranged a few things, hotel and stuff and sent a few mails and made a few calls to Victoria. And you’ll probably find it strange that we didn’t ask one of your friends at home, but after reading those mails, I realised she was the best choice to go with you to this concert.” Mom rambled before placing two tickets on the kitchen table.

I was confused and still a little mad at my parents, but nonetheless I picked up the tickets to look at them. My eyes grew big when I finally realised what was going on. I forget that I was mad at my mom and jumped up.

“You got me tickets to see Panic at the Disco! Oh my god! Thank you so much!” I yelled while pulling my mom in a big hug.

“Thank you so much!” I repeated when I finally released my grip on her.

She smiled while answering. “After everything you have been through, you deserve a good time. Now go and start packing, your plane is leaving in six hours!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Victoria.**  
I was about to check the arrival board for Lauren’s flight when I heard a voice from behind me.

“Victoria?”

I turned around to see Lauren stand there with her suitcase and backpack. It was the first time we actually met each other in real life, so we just stood there staring for a minute. Then she walked over to me and embraced me in a hug. “It’s so good to finally meet you! You have no idea how happy I am. And excited. Happy and excited!” she exclaimed.

I felt a smile grow on my face as I hugged her back. “I’m so glad we finally meet! I still can’t believe your parents arranged all this. It feels like dream.” I answered.

When we got out of the hug I took a good look at Lauren. Although she did seem happy and excited, underneath all of it I could see she was really tired. I pointed that out to her while asking how her flight was.

“My flight was good. And I’m a little tired maybe but it’s all fine. Listen, let’s make a deal: we are going to have the time of our lives the next couple of days and you are not going to worry about me. How does that sound?” She said with a smile on her face.

I couldn’t help but smile back. I realised that everything she has been through only made her stronger. Off course I’d worry about her when she’s with me, but I promised myself I won’t let her notice.

“Sounds like a good deal I guess. Now let’s go pick up that car your parents rented and get to our hotel.” I said as I linked arms with her and we started walking to the exit doors of the airport.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Brendon.**  
I sat in our dressing room at the venue in Orlando. We just finished sound check and I was desperately in need of an internet connection. I hadn’t been online in three days and I really needed to check something.

“Come on, come on!” I muttered as I waited for my laptop to start. It seemed to work a lot slower than usual and I grew more impatient every second.

Ryan apparently heard me mutter when he walked in and laughed. “You know, talking to it isn’t going to help!” He grinned at my frustration.

“Shut up Ross! I don’t need…” I started out as I saw that I finally was online again. I didn’t even bother finishing my sentence and started clicking like crazy.

When John and Spencer walked in, they had one look at my laptop and chuckled. “Some people might consider you to be a stalker, you realise that right?” John asked, still grinning. “No, to be a stalker he should have actually met the girl.” Spencer pointed out.

I grumbled a little at their comments. So what if I never met this girl before? So what if I only had seen her on the picture on her online profile? So what if I only knew everything about her by what I read in her online journal? I knew she was something special. Don’t ask me why, I just knew. Ever since William Beckett showed me one of her stories I had been to her site daily. So what if all of her stories were fan fiction? At least she had a nice writing style, unlike a lot of fan fiction writers. And she didn’t write slash or anything. Although we never met, I felt like she captured our essence just right. But although her works were really nice, I was much more interested in her. When William showed me her site I was bored, so I read her online journal. You know the line from Jerry Maguire ‘You had me at hello’? That’s how I felt. I never met the girl before, but I feel like we have this connection. Sounds ridiculous, I know. But just trust me on this one.

So I ignored the guys’ comments and continued staring at my laptop. Internet was being slow, but at least it’s there, so I wasn’t complaining. When the page finally opened, my eyes darted towards the journal section. I smiled when I noticed there was a new update. I started reading and halfway through it, I gasped.

“Brendon? What is it?” Ryan asked looking up from the book he was reading. I stayed silent and just stared at the screen. I reread the words on the screen to see if I wasn’t dreaming.

“She’s here.” I whispered.

“What? What are you talking about Bren?” Jon asked, clearly confused.

I finally looked up at the faces of my three friends. They all looked a little worried and confused about my behaviour.

“She’s here, in Orlando. She’s got tickets for tonight. Lauren is coming to our show.” I said as I felt nerves rush through my stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Lauren.**  
“I still can’t believe we are really here!” I said to Victoria, with a huge smile on my face.

“Well you better start believing it, cause we are really here! And we are about to see Panic at the Disco!” Victoria squealed.

I laughed at her excitement. Victoria had always been a little bit of a fan girl. It didn’t bother me much though, compared to some of the girls standing around us, she was looking really calm. And she was six years younger than me after all. When I look back, I can see me being fan girlish at that age. But I calmed down a lot, especially with everything that happened lately. It made me realise that looks aren’t everything. Sure, these guys are cute, but that’s just an added bonus to the amazing music they make. And that was exactly what I was about to enjoy.

I was just pointing out a girl in the crowd to Victoria, joking about the shirt she was wearing, when the lights went out. The crowd screamed. It was almost impossible to understand the announcement. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. They’re a platinum selling band. They just had a new album out this spring. And now they’re here, live in Orlando for the second time this year! Please give it up for Panic at the Discooo!”

A deafening sound wave went through the venue when the guys came on stage. I just stood there smiling and looked at Victoria. She caught my eye and smiled back. Then at the same time, we started screaming along with the crowd. I had a feeling this was going to be a night to remember.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Brendon.**  
The concert was going great. We had the crowd on our hand from the moment Spencer hit his drums. Everybody seemed to enjoy their selves and yet I couldn’t help but be nervous. I normally wasn’t nervous on stage, but tonight things were different. Tonight might change my life.

I took a deep breath as we finished Northern Downpour. This was the moment I had been waiting for the entire night. Ryan stepped up to his mic. “As they say, all good things must come to an end. So must this show. We had a really good time with you guys, I can honestly say this is one of the best shows we did in a long time. We are playing one more song, but before we get to that, Brendon has something he wants to say.” He announced.

As I noticed Ryan step away from the microphone form the corner of my eye, I looked at Jon. He gave me a smile and a little nod, motioning me to go for it. I look to my left and searched for Ryan’s eyes. We locked eyes for just a second, but that was all I needed to find the encouragement I needed to do this. His small nod, probably only visible to me, made me smile as I took a step forward.

“Uhm… Maybe I should have thought of what to say before we got on stage. It’s… It’s a long story really. But I guess I can make it very simple. I’ll read something to you.” I said before pausing a moment. While I grabbed the piece of paper out of my pocket I heard whispers go through the crowd.

“Okay, here we go. When I walked into the kitchen Ryan, Spencer, Jon and William were sitting around the table. William looked up as I walked in, but quickly looked back at his bowl of cereals when he noticed my glare. I ignored him and gave the other three a peck on the cheek. Nobody said anything when I grabbed myself a bowl of cereals and poured some milk on it. When I sat down at the table I noticed the guys exchanging looks. When they caught me looking at them, they stopped and went back to eating. After a few minutes of silence, Jon finally spoke up. "So, do I dare to ask why Brendon came running down the stairs, dumped your breakfast – which he spent an hour and half on I might add – in the trash, tray and all, grumbled something about how life sucks and leaving the house?" He asked, looking at me with a worried look. I just gave William a death glare and yelled: "Why don't you ask him?" before storming out of the kitchen.”

When I finished reading, there was a complete silence. And then more whispers. Nobody seemed to get what I was saying.

“I see most of you don’t have a clue what this is all about. Well, I’m going to spare you the details. I just know that there is someone in this audience who knows where this comes from, because… Well, because she wrote it. And I would like to talk to her after the show.” I tried to explain.

Awkwardness set in for a moment before Ryan saved the day and stepped up to his mic to announce our last song. I walked over to my water bottle standing next to Spencer’s drums. When I looked at him he smiled and gave me a thumbs up. I smiled back, feeling a little bit less embarrassed and walked back over to my microphone to start Mad as Rabbits.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Victoria.**  
The band started to play their last song, but neither me nor Lauren were paying attention. I was staring at Lauren and Lauren was staring at the stage blankly. She looked really pale, even more than usual.

“Are you okay?” I asked carefully not to scare her. The last thing I needed right now was her to be scared to death or something like that.

Lauren stared at the stage for a couple more seconds before she turned to me. “That was my story. I wrote that story for Breanna. Brendon freaking Urie just read part of my story on stage.” She stated.

She still didn’t seem to fully get the meaning of this and I couldn’t suppress a smile. “You do realize what this means, right? That same Brendon freaking Urie want to see you after the show!” I yelled over the music.

Lauren finally seemed to realize what was happening. At the same moment the band finished their last song, she got out of her blank stare and looked at me. “I’m not going to wait for him after the show. I’m getting pretty tired, I think we should go back to the hotel.” She announced on a tone as if some random guy just asked her out on a date.

“Lauren, we’re talking about Brendon Urie here! This has got be a once in a life time opportunity. We are going backstage right now.” I answered before grabbing her arm. People were starting to leave the venue and we followed the crowd outside.

Once we were outside Lauren tried to go to the right, where we had parked our rental car. I just gave her a look before dragging her to the left, to where I knew the backstage entrance was. I wasn’t going to let Lauren miss this chance. She may be a little resistant, but I was sure she was going to regret not going in the morning. So I dragged her over to a door on the left side of the building.

When we got there, a few girls were talking to a security guard. I heard them say that Brendon asked for them on stage, that they wrote the story. I smiled when the security guard told them to go away.  
When we reached the door, I smiled at the guard politely. “Hi! I’m Victoria and this is my friend Lauren.”

The security guard quickly scanned me before answering. I noticed a grin on his lips. “Good evening girls. How can I help you?”

I looked at Lauren, waiting for her to say something, but she just kept staring at her Chuck Taylors. I sighed before looking at the security guard again. “Well, my friend Lauren here writes stories. And now Brendon Urie just read part of one of those stories out loud on stage. And he said he wanted to meet the girl who wrote it, so here we are.” I said cheerfully.

The guard’s smile grew wider. “Have you girls all come together to make up a story? Cause you are the fifteenth tonight who is telling me this. And you’re the fifteenth who is getting this answer: no, I won’t let you go backstage. Although I must give you points for originality with the whole my friend wrote part. The other girls all wrote the story themselves.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but Lauren’s hand on my arm stopped me. “Just let it be, Vic. I told you I didn’t want to come here. Let’s just go to the car and go back to the hotel.” She almost whispered.

I took a good look at her and she seemed to have gotten even more pale and she actually looked tired now. “Fine, let’s go to the car.” I gave in. I flashed a fake smile at the security guard before turning around and following Lauren.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Brendon.**  
I tapped my foot impatiently as I kept my eyes on the dressing room door. I almost jumped up when the door opened, but it was only Ryan coming back from the showers.

“Dude, can you stop doing that?” He asked as soon as he noticed my foot go up and down.

I gave him a look of annoyance but stopped tapping. We sat in silence for a moment as I watched Ryan’s skilled fingers type on his sidekick. But it didn’t take long before the silence started annoying me.

“Why isn’t she here yet? What’s taking her so long?” I exclaimed as I jumped up and started pacing around the room.

“I don’t know Bren. Maybe you creeped her out and she isn’t coming?”

I knew Ryan was just joking and tried to lighten up my mood, but he wasn’t doing a very good job. As I looked at him to make a rude remark, I noticed his expression changing, as if he suddenly realised something. “Bren, you did tell Zack to inform the security at the back entrance, right?” He asked, unable to hide a grin.

“Shit!” I mumbled before storming out of the room.

When I passed Jon and Spencer on their way back from the showers, they gave me a weird look and yelled: “Where are you going? Why didn’t you shower yet?” I ignored their questions and kept running to the back entrance.

“Hi! You don’t happen to have sent some girl away who said I read one of her stories on stage, have you?” I asked when I reached the guard at the back door. The older man smiled at me as I tried to catch my breath.

“So it is true? I did find it strange they all came up with the same story.” He laughed. “I think there must have been at least a dozen. The last two left about a minute ago. They…”

I didn’t give him the time to finish his sentence, I just ran past him through the open door. He yelled something, but I wasn’t listening anymore and I just kept running in the direction of the parking lot. I realised that it was a long shot and that I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but I did nonetheless. The thought that the girl I wanted to talk to could be literally just around the corner seemed to give my legs a life of their own.

When I rounded the corner, I saw two girls walking about 50 yards ahead of me. “Hey! Wait a second!” I yelled as I tried to run even faster.

I noticed the girl on the right started to walk a little faster, as if she thought I was some creep. But the girl on the left looked in my direction. When she noticed me, she stopped her friend.

By the time her friend had turned around, I had reached them and I was standing next to the girl I wanted to meet for so long. As I tried to catch my breath, I took a moment to take in her appearance. She looked a little pale and tired, but she was still more beautiful in person than her picture gave her credit for.

“Is there something we can help you with?” She asked me with a polite smile.

“I… I…” I wanted to tell her so much, but was still out of breath. Plus I had no idea where to start. So instead I decided to follow my feelings. I put an arm around her waist and pulled her close to me. I looked into her hazel eyes as I cupped her face with my free hand. Then I leaned in and planted my lips on hers firmly. The instant our lips touched, I knew I had done the right thing. Her lips felt perfect against mine. My arm seemed to fit perfectly on the small of her back.

Just holding her close felt so good that it took me a moment or two to realise she wasn’t kissing back. She just stood there, completely frozen. I quickly broke the kiss and took a step back.

~~~~~~~~~~

**Lauren.**  
“You’re not kissing back.” Hearing Brendon’s voice seemed to bring me back to life.

“I don’t know you.” I simply stated.

I noticed confusion spread all over his face, so I explained myself more properly. “I know you’re Brendon Urie, vocalist extraordinaire of Panic at the Disco, but that’s about it. So I don’t know you. And you don’t know me either, so I don’t get why you’re kissing me in the first place.”

To my surprise, Brendon smiled at my explanation. “You’re right, you probably don’t know me. But the fact that you just admitted that makes me like you even more. Cause Lauren, I do know you. I didn’t just read that story because I was interested in your writing. I read that because I wanted to meet you. I’m interested in you. I have been ever since I started reading your online journal. I know your favourite color, tv show, music. I know what you study and how your grades are. I know the fights you have gotten into with your parents and your little sister. Face it Lauren, I do know you.” He rambled while he couldn’t suppress a grin.

I shook my head in disbelief when I heard him talk. I couldn’t believe he thought he actually knew me. When I opened my mouth to speak again, I couldn’t help but spat out the words.

“So just because you read my journal you think you know me? Well let me tell you something: you don’t know me!” Tears started to well up in my eyes and I realised I didn’t really had a reason to be angry at him, but I couldn’t help it. He seemed to be taken a little aback by my outburst, but something told me he wasn’t going to give up this easy.

“Look, Lauren, I know I probably sound like some creepy stalker. But you can’t deny the fact that by pouring your heart out on the internet, you gave me a chance to get to know you. I do know you and I do like the person you are.” He said. He sounded calm, unlike how I was feeling right now. I just wanted him to let it go and I started to yell at the same moment the first tear fell down my cheek.

“You really think I pour my heart out on that thing? You really think my life is happiness and sunshine all the time? You really think you know me? Well then let me let you in on a secret: you have no clue who I am or what I have been through lately!” I yelled in his face. He didn’t seem impressed by what I was saying, which only made me more frustrated.

“You really want to know me?” I continued yelling. I didn’t even wait for his reaction, I just grabbed my wig off my head and revealed the fact that there wasn’t a single hair on my head. “Hi, I’m Lauren and I just finished my treatment for lymphoid cancer three days ago. There, now you are starting to know me!” I yelled as tears were flowing freely down my face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Brendon.**  
My gaze went from the wig in her hand back to her face. I was shocked by her confession and I couldn’t help but stare at her. She seemed so fragile and hurt. But as I stood there staring at her, I noticed the fierce sparkle that was still present in her eyes. And as I watched her bald head gloom in the moonlight, I realised my feelings hadn’t changed. I stepped closer to her and brushed my thumb across her cheek as I tried to wipe away her tears.

“Please don’t !” She whispered, barely audible.

I ignored her comment and pulled her against my chest. “It’s okay, just cry as hard as you want. Let it all out. It’s all gonna be okay Lauren!” I whispered as I rubbed her back soothingly.

After a few minutes her breathing calmed down and I felt she pulled back a little to look at me. “Why are you doing this? Why aren’t you running back to the comfort of your dressing room or the safety of your tour bus?” She asked me.

“Because I see no reason to run from you. Nothing has changed, Lauren. The fact you had cancer doesn’t mean you aren’t that sweet and caring girl anymore. The fact that the chemo made you loose all your hair doesn’t mean you lost that sarcastic sense of humor I like. Your appearance may have changed but you haven’t. You’re still that amazing girl I really like!” I answered her. I smiled as I wiped away a last tear from her cheek.

“Listen, I’m not saying you have to get head over feet about me right now. I’m just asking you to give me a chance.” I said as I felt myself get lost in her red-rimmed, yet still fiercely sparkling eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Lauren.**  
I listened to his little speech and just kept staring at him afterwards. I was looking for the right words to say. He looked sincere and he did have a point. My appearance changed, but I’d like to think I didn’t. If anything, this past couple of months have only made me stronger.

As I was contemplating with myself what to say, Brendon apparently got impatient. When I didn’t respond immediately, he gave my his infamous pout and puppy dog eyes. I couldn’t help but smile as I looked at him.

“Thank you Brendon. I needed that.” I confessed. “And I guess you’re absolutely right, you deserve an honest chance. How about we go grab some coffee tomorrow?”

Brendon smiled that adorable smile I’d seen so many times before. “Coffee sounds great. I’ll pick you up at seven?” He eagerly asked.

“Seven it is. We are staying at the Conrad hotel downtown. I’ll wait at the entrance.” I answered with a grin.

We both continued to stare at each other as a comfortable silence set it. After a few minutes we heard a small cough. I looked aside and realised Victoria was with me. I had completely forgotten about her. I blushed slightly and I saw a pink shade creep onto Brendon’s cheeks.

“I…Uhm… I should be getting back to the rest of the guys.” He said as we stepped apart.

“Yeah… Yeah, I guess so.” I mumbled.

“Thanks for giving me a chance Lauren. And it was nice meeting you… Uhm…” Brendon was scratching his head, realising he had no clue what Victoria’s name was.

“Victoria. And you’re welcome, it was my pleasure to drag her but over here after the show!” Victoria grinned in response, not caring that he didn’t know her name.

“Yeah, thanks about that, Victoria!” Brendon laughed back before pulling me in a hug again.

“I can’t wait to see you again tomorrow. I really like you Lauren!” He whispered in my ear before planting a soft kiss on my forehead and stepping back.

I couldn’t stop smiling. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye Brendon!” I simply stated.

“Bye girls!” Brendon said before he turned around and started walking back to into the direction he came from. I watched him walk away for a moment. Right before he rounded the corner he turned back around.

“Oh and Lauren? Just for the record: I think you look beautiful no matter what!” He yelled at me.

“Go to your friends Brendon!” I yelled back as the smile on my face only grew bigger.

He smiled, turned around and disappeared around the corner.

As I placed my wig back onto my head and tried to make it look somewhat decent, I turned to face Victoria. I noticed she has a killer smile spread across her face and before I could say anything, she squealed like the little fan girl she secretly was.

“Calm down Vic, it’s only coffee! Now let’s go to the car and get back to the hotel” I said, but I still wasn’t able to get the smile of my face. I laughed at her enthusiasm.

As we walked to the car Victoria was rambling besides me, but I wasn’t really listening. I was wrapped up in my own thoughts and I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that I was going out for coffee with an amazing guy tomorrow. This could be the start of something beautiful.


End file.
